


Coping With Coffee

by Circuit



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Gen, Makoto Niijima Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-20
Updated: 2017-09-20
Packaged: 2019-01-01 01:31:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12145704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Circuit/pseuds/Circuit
Summary: Having recently had a panic attack that involved discharging her service weapon, Makoto seeks reassurance from her friend.Written for Day 5 of Tumblr's Makoto Niijima Week: Future/Career.





	Coping With Coffee

**Author's Note:**

> This fic went through several rewrites. This is the one I'm most happy with, though that's not saying much. I feel like I'm glossing over the issue of the PTSD and projecting my own coping mechanisms too much. I also worry it comes off as making light of police shootings which I very much hope it isn't, as that is far from my intention.

If Makoto thought her first major incident report was stressful, it was nothing compared to this. Over an entire day sitting in a room, repeating her statements, signing off on paperwork, even having her blood drawn to be tested.

It wasn’t every day a Japanese police officer actually discharged their service weapon. They were trained in other methods of takedown, Makoto especially proficient in it with her past experience as a Phantom Thief. Though, perhaps it was that experience that led to this.

She was told there would likely be no charges against her, that they were ruling it justified. However, she was to be put on two-week leave to give her time to mentally recover. After confirming with Sae that she could stay at her place again until her home was no longer an active crime scene, she made her way to Yongen. To Leblanc.

She needed to talk to someone that would know where she was coming from. Someone to comfort and reassure her. And Makoto couldn’t explain why, but something about Akira just had that calming effect on people. So many strangers all across Tokyo had ended up spilling their secrets and putting their trust in him, after all. Herself included.

It was evening by the time Akira arrived, and she was the only one still in the cafe. Even Boss had left for the night. It made sense for Akira to be late; he had his own life and job, after all. Despite the bond she and her friends shared, she shouldn't expect that they could just appear at the drop of a hat. Now she had a pang of guilt over asking him here. Was she being selfish? Did he have other plans?

“Hey,” Akira smiled as he walked in.

“H-hey,” Makoto replied. If she was keeping him from something, he gave no signs that it bothered him. She stood up from where she sat at the counter, moving over to a booth while he quickly made them fresh coffee. “It’s been awhile since we saw each other in person.”

“Yeah,” Akira said. He remained quiet until their cups were finished, bringing them over and sitting across from her. “Sorry. Work’s been keeping me busy.”

“Same here,” Makoto said, looking down to see herself reflected in the dark liquid. “Though… I’m free for the next two weeks, now.”

“Taking a vacation?” Akira asked, taking a cautious sip. Still too hot, as the tip of his tongue unfortunately discovered.

“Not exactly,” Makoto said quietly.

“Is this what you needed to talk about?” Akira asked.

Makoto nodded. "I'm not sure how to talk about this..."

“Take your time.”

Makoto spent a few minutes just looking down at her drink. She was hoping this would help gather her thoughts. It didn’t really. When she spoke, she was tense and fearful. “I… shot someone, Akira.”

Akira blinked in surprise.

“I… I ended up working late on something, and brought my weapon home with me,” Makoto said. “I usually leave it in my desk like everyone else, but…” She took a sip of coffee as her mouth was starting to feel dry. “I don’t really remember what happened. I was home, making a quick dinner before bed, when a window broke. A man came in, saw me… I saw his knife.”

Akira got up, moving to sit next to Makoto.

“The lamp broke, it went dark… I panicked and… I felt my gun on me, so I took it out and fired. One shot.”

“What happened to the guy?”

“He’ll live,” Makoto said. “He might have shoulder pain for the rest of his life if his recovery doesn’t go well, but the doctors told my coworkers they’re optimistic.”

“I guess that’s a good thing,” Akira said. "I'm going to touch you, okay?" He placed his hand on Makoto’s shoulder. If he couldn't see how tense she was since they started talking, he could certainly feel it. “You alright?”

“I’m obviously not,” Makoto said. “I’m more skilled than any of my coworkers in hand-to-hand combat. But I went for my gun. I could have killed him. And don’t you say ‘but you didn’t’, because that was just luck. I fired blind.”

“Makoto,” Akira said softly, feeling her shake slightly.

“I’m better than this, aren’t I?” Makoto asked. “After everything you, me, our friends have been through, and one man with a knife scares me? A single broken lamp, and I forget all of my combat training?”

“You just answered why this happened,” Akira said. “We’ve all been through a lot. Things no normal person would have seen, or would understand. This guy broke into your home and it sounds like he wanted to kill you. I’d be terrified if that happened to me, too.”

Makoto nodded. “Yes, I guess that’s true. I asked you here because you’re one of the few people who would know where I’m coming from, after all. But my career is dangerous. This wasn’t even an incident on the clock. What if I panic during a standoff or something? What if this job ends up getting me killed like my dad?”

Akira took his hand back, resting them on the table. “I’m afraid I can’t answer that. It might just be a fear you’ll have to constantly live with.”

“Akira?”

“I’m still scared of dying,” he said, keeping his gaze down. “As confidant as I was with the plan to fake my death? The abuse while I was in there, the realization that if I didn’t remember in time I would have been killed? It scares me. And I’m still scared that somehow I’ll still be shot at some point. It’s not constantly on my mind, but at times? It’s there.”

“How do you cope?” Makoto asked.

“Probably really poorly,” Akira admitted. “But what I do doesn’t matter. What makes you more comfortable, Makoto?”

She put her hand to her chin in thought. “...talking. To you, to my friends. Seeing you there, people that understand me. It makes me feel… safe.”

“Then that’s what I’ll do,” Akira said. “If you ever need to talk or see me, I’ll do my best to be there. If I can’t, I’ll make sure someone can. Ann, Haru, someone. And when you're on duty? Just think of us supporting you.”

“I don’t want to inconvenience people like that,” Makoto said. “I feel bad enough asking you here.”

“But I’m happy to see you. And you’re not an inconvenience.”

“...thank you,” Makoto said, taking another sip of coffee. She looked at him. “Um, you can go back to the other side now.”

“Right, sorry.” Akira quickly got up, sitting across from her again. "Didn't mean to sit there so long."

Makoto managed to give a slight giggle. “No, I’m glad you did. It really helped comfort me. You’re a good friend, Akira.”

Akira smiled at her. "We should probably leave Leblanc soon, but did you still want to hang out?"

"I wouldn't want to wake my sister by showing up too late," Makoto said. She finished her coffee. "But if you and the others are free anytime soon, I'd love to have lunch with you all again."

"I'll see who can make it," Akira said. "Goodnight, Makoto."

"Goodnight, Akira."


End file.
